Life is way too short. There is no time and energy to be wasted on people who do not deserve your attention, even partial. If you scroll down your contact list on your cell phone, be ensured that not everyone in there has your best interest at heart. Is it hard for you to admit? If so, ask yourself what is preventing you from identifying who is toxic. Are you afraid to owe anyone any explanation? Ultimately is it way too complicated to face the blunt truth? Does it feel so much easier to maintain the status quo and keep the toxicity around you? But what price will you end-up paying?
::: Is it easier to put all differences aside, and then move on?
“Then move on to what?” is the key-question. There are many people out there who are mean, nasty, vicious, toxic, or destructive, and they will never change. They were born that way, and they shall remain that way until the end of their lives. Their level of self-disgust is such that they must contaminate what you are at all costs, covertly hoping that you become like them. Very much like viruses, they continually spread, infecting one individual after another. As repulsive and unattractive such behaviors may sound to you, it is crucial to acknowledge that their perpetrators actually thrive on being that way. When you are the target of such a deleterious energy, are you instantly inclined to resist it and react to it? But wait a minute… Isn’t the ability to put all differences aside, forgive, and forget the right things to do? Those are the values that society promotes. This is how you take the high road. Unfortunately, those are also great cop-outs that force you to discard the reality of things. And when you systematically dismiss what you should be aware of, you recurrently invite toxicity back into your life. And it may not be the best solution.
Do you have the ability to forgive and forget, without necessarily having to dishonor what you are in the process? In other words, do you have the power to be confronted to anything, including the ugliest people can deliver, without placing any significance whatsoever on it, and move on unaffected? Haven’t you been programmed to believe that accepting a compliment was so much easier than having to assume a criticism? What if none of that had any importance? What if you could say with much confidence, “Thank you so much!” after having been confronted to either scenario, without drawing any conclusion around it? The reflex most people have when they are given a compliment is to think that the instigator of the compliment likes them. So they feel obligated to reciprocate by also liking this person. You would not want to disappoint anyone, right? Is this a reflex, which in reality is a powerful way of eroding your level of awareness? There are many men and women in your entourage who love to compliment you, but who also do not mean a single word of what comes out of their mouths when they do so. They have an agenda that they try to push at all costs. To give them the benefit of the doubt, or mechanically judge them as “good people” solely due to their seeming kindness, can become highly precarious. To be asleep is good when you are exhausted. However this is the only kind of sleep that you ever want to experience, because those people want to destroy you. And you better be aware of their toxic intentions.
::: Do you want toxic people out of your life?
Let’s talk about those individuals whom you know so well hate your guts. You know it however do you want to see it? It is always more difficult to acknowledge such conduct when those individuals are loved ones. Since when do loved ones automatically embrace everything that you are, including your happiness and your successes? There are parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, lovers, friends, and/or relatives who, deep inside, cannot stand you. They resent you with all their strengths. They want to see you fail, simply because they are utterly unable to create a life for themselves. They have absolutely nothing to look forward to, because their existences are like abyssal voids. They are lame and pathetic, and you have to come down to their level. To that effect, they relentlessly use all the tricks in the book. They charm you, entice you, and seduce you, while scheming and conniving in the background and jumping on every opportunity that they have to alienate you emotionally. Their aim is to destroy you and to extinguish your flame for ever. Their soul is dead, and they want yours to die as well. Is it something to which you are ready to surrender?
Do you want to be free from the destructive energy that toxic people systematically propagate? It takes a lot of courage to identify who they are, because ultimately it shows how wrong you were at some point in your life for having started a relationship with them. It is never pleasant to admit being wrong, even though it always ends up being a positive and constructive attitude. It is good to backtrack and assess whether a choice that was made in the past still remains potent and productive today. If that is not the case, it is time to choose differently. It is obviously better and so much quicker to know right away, and you have the ability to know instantly. By being aware of what your interlocutor intrinsically is, you are able to clearly see all the red flags that he or she is waving before your very own eyes. Then it is up to you to acknowledge or negate what you observe. Remember that toxic people will systematically do whatever it takes, so they can contaminate you and poison you.
Beware of those people who promote the idea that everyone should put their differences aside because this is a holiday season, because of family ties, or because you have some sort of history together. They usually are the ones who want to put you asleep, so they can use their entire energy towards finding new ways to strike even more brutally. And, at the end of the day, the choice to clean up your address book from time to time feels really great!