Are your best years really behind you?

How many men and women do you know have decided without the shadow of a doubt that the best years of their lives are in reality behind them?  How many times have you heard parents, relatives or friends share with so much confidence that their college years, the birth of their child or the day they were married represented in an irrevocable way the best time of their lives?  I would actually challenge you to tell me that you have never met someone who takes so much pleasure and pride in speaking continuously about the past and how glorious it was, in comparison to today.  It seems like their lives have stopped years ago, and there is nothing that could happen now or in the future and that would wake them up.  The “good old days” supersede everything.  And very much like a broken record, the nostalgic ones relentlessly praise their glory.  Actually, the number of individuals who have already concluded and fully embraced the irrefutable idea that their lives ended on the day they decided that their best years were indeed behind them is quite overwhelming.

Many folks have solidified to the extreme the fact that they have already missed out on the one opportunity of their respective lifetime to shine, create, meet, thrive and/or prosper.  Inside their minds, it is now too late to start generating anything that would have the strong potential to bring a different alternative to this dreadful routine that they have created, and from which they cannot extract themselves.  Is it truly what reality is, or is it a reality that they have chosen to construct, based on series of self-imposed limitations?  In this is the case, is the motto “before was better” solely a myth?  Moreover, what ulterior motives are needed, so this myth can be maintained in existence?  On the other end of the spectrum, do you believe that anyone can be empowered to seek and create better, greater, higher and stronger at any given moment?  For many men and women, the latter represents so much effort that they would rather surrender and cease to exist.

::: Who wants you to believe that yesterday was better? 

There are hundreds of millions of people out there who spend an immense majority of their time, if not all of it, complaining about what they do not have, what they should be entitled to have, and what they had in the past, which they have now lost, and for which they are so resentful today.  Would you like to take an honest look at these three categories, and assess whether you currently fit into one of them?  If you do, would you like to identify and acknowledge the benefits that you are gaining from cultivating such a demeanor?  What fundamental value is there to chew the reminiscence of something that is long gone and that cannot be altered?  What hidden agenda does it serve?  Who wants you to be pathetic?  Is that you, or are you embracing someone else’s viewpoint?  People who glorify the past give themselves no other choice but to be resentful today, because before was better and they do not have it anymore.  In other words, they set their lives up for failure.  They cannot be satisfied with what they presently have.  It will never top what they did have and that still represents the pinnacle of their existences today.

Isn’t living in the past the perfect justification for creating the perfect excuse for being strongly averse to change?  Isn’t it also a great way to avoid being bluntly truthful with yourself?  Furthermore, is choosing to be averse to change the tool of preference, so anything that comes your way is automatically and instantly swept under the carpet?  This is the ultimate means to escape your responsibilities, regardless of the severe backlash that this will trigger later on.  How many individuals do you know have this interesting propensity to bury their heads in the sand all the time?  Isn’t it what you have been taught to think, anyway?  To embrace the pleasant and discard the unpleasant, in spite of the consequences the latter will generate.  Not that many people are ready to step-up to the plate and be accountable for the decisions that they make, especially when the consequences happen to be absolutely horrendous.  By believing that today cannot matter anymore, it gives them the possibility to be reckless, irresponsible and dismissive towards others.  It is a form of convenience that is destructive not only for them but also for those who are exposed to them.

Do you believe that anyone has the power to impose his or her views on you and your life?  If you take a superficial look at what conditioning and programming are, you might be tempted to adopt the idea that you are malleable after all.  However, if you choose to acknowledge that you are empowered at all times to choose what you know would work best for you in the moment, this does not hold anymore.  It becomes everybody’s choice to be conditioned or programmed.  Even though living in the past and refusing to be present are widely spread behaviors inside this society, ultimately the choice to abdicate and let others take over your life is very much personal.  So, why do you want to believe that “before” was indeed better?  Why do you elect to erect grandiose shrines to the glory of your past?  Don’t you have the power to make the present even more grandiose?  It is a choice.  You can either surrender or continue to live.

::: What if you could still choose to enjoy a sixty-nine… at sixty-nine?

What do you need to change, so life does not have to stop abruptly simply because you have decided that your best years belong to the past?  Do you think that it is possible to be grateful for what you had before, regardless of the connotation that it carried at the time?  You could be immensely grateful for a successful professional career, a hot and attractive body, a great relationship, or even a wonderful Christmas surrounded by your entire family.  And why wouldn’t you also be grateful for a layoff, an unsatisfying body shape, a divorce, or not having been invited to a few all-so important New Year’s Eve parties?  The idea is that the past does indeed belong to the past.  It cannot be changed.  The only benefit that it can bring is your choice to learn from it, so you can identify all those patterns that you have embraced, and that have now ceased to function.  To make that your reality requires the necessity to be grateful for it all, especially the worst.  Remember, you are the sole creator of what your life looks like right here right now.  Therefore, the refusal to be grateful for what you have created up to this point is a negation of what you intrinsically are and the indelible mark of your utter refusal to learn from your past mistakes and successes.  Life is way too short to dismiss what needs to be changed.  Your existence must continually take a turn for the very best.  It requires a certain dose of courage to face those old demons or those choices that ultimately did not bring much positivity.  Are you ready to be honest, without judging yourself for having failed from time to time?  Nothing is ever too late.

Do you place much significance on your age?  Do you consider that you are too young or too old to dare thinking about all those dreams that you still have in mind and that you would love to see realized?  How many times have you heard, “Too young!” or, “Too old!” about pretty much everything, anyway?  In most societies, age is the one measurement that people undeniably use with intense nonchalance, so they can control others.  Age is segmented, and series of judgments are created, solidified and then associated to every single one of those segments.  “If you are laid off past fifty, good luck for finding a new job!” or “I am thirty-five and single, so I’ll never find a husband.”  Who is preventing you from finding true love for the first time at seventy-five or starting you own business at sixteen?  You have to do whatever it takes to thrive and prosper, despite the cruel fact that your environment is likely to dictate and impose its limitations on you.

What prevents you from enjoying a sixty-nine at sixty-nine?  The only person who ultimately has the power to judge you for expressing your desires is your own self.  What if the best were yet to come, regardless of how old you are?  Does it mean that you currently need to live your life waiting for the best, or could you enjoy every single bit of it right now, and despite what is going on?  When you are dead, it is all over.  It is way too late.  So there cannot be any room for regrets.  It is all happening right now.  You cannot be ashamed of your desires.  You will certainly be judged for them, but does it truly matter?  Why would you elect to suppress anything to satisfy anyone else but your own self?  This does not make any sense.

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If you are certain that the best is already behind you, may I suggest that you reconsider your opinion?  It is never too late to start living again.  Now is now. Now is not the future, and it is certainly not the past.  Whatever happened two minutes ago is over, gone, dead.  And I would actually challenge you to re-enact with precision what you did or said two minutes ago.  It is impossible.  So are you ready to leave your past where it belongs, which is in the past, and start fresh and new today, without having any ideas about what it is supposed to look like?

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